


Left my heart in Africa

by HanHan_Solo156



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Angst, Ausländer making of, Behind the Scenes, Cultural Differences, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Only One Bed, Sleeping in a Tent, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:20:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25379041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HanHan_Solo156/pseuds/HanHan_Solo156
Summary: Shooting a music video in the heart of South Africa is not an easy task - especially when the accommodation arrangements don’t go as planned.Of course, the sufferers have to be the two guitarists who are refusing to admit the affection towards each other to the very last drop.(aka what happened behind the scenes of Ausländer)
Relationships: Richard Kruspe/Paul Landers
Comments: 20
Kudos: 76





	1. Fresh off the plane

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DinchenRockt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinchenRockt/gifts).



> This idea was first planted to my head because of one post on Tumblr if I remember correctly. I've had this idea for ages and as I wanted to write something to my dear Rammstein buddy DinchenRockt (with whom we were supposed to go to see R+ in Germany, but because of Corona all we have now is waiting and fluffy fics), and when I started writing this came out. Originally, this was supposed to be a short, funny story but now it ended up being two chapters with a hint of Paulchard angst as well - but everything will get fine, I assure you. ;-) Special mention also for Tinnike who suggested Paul's wonderful thighs that are often mentioned here, hehe.
> 
> As always, disclaimer that this story has nothing to do with real life even though it's inspired by one certain band and their music video. Just exploration by one weird writer and her imagination.
> 
> I hope you like this silly little story and see you next year DinchenRockt and anyone else who happen to attend to the same concerts. <3

The view from the window of the band’s private jet was stunning. The beauty of Africa was right in front of the passengers’ eyes, filled with grand mountains, exotic animals, seaside, and unique, unspoiled culture if you knew the places where to look for it.

“How many hours still? My ass is sore,” burst out an indignant voice, breaking the spell as quickly as it had been created. 

Flake, who had just come out of the toilet, stopped by the place of the commenter and deadpanned: “You have asked that a thousand times already, so could you _Herr Kruspe the mighty diva_ stay still and enjoy the view or something?”

When the keyboardist sat back to his place, ignoring Richard’s annoyed muttering in the backseat, Paul sighed and shook his head while he tried to pretend he hadn’t heard the so-called discussion. How one man could to ruin the delicate atmosphere so quickly? That sure was an eternal mystery. Of course, Paul also had to admit that the 12-hour flight wasn’t the most pleasant, but as he wanted to act like an adult, he managed to inhibit his own complaints.

But that was not the case with his fellow guitarist who always spoke up his mind - no matter how suitable it was or wasn’t. 

“But that didn’t answer my question! How many hours still?” Richard asked probably the 10001st time. He resembled a little kid during a summer vacation in the backseat of the car, constantly making his parents nuts. “I’m so freaking hungry already and my ass and back hurt. I hope we’re not starting the filming immediately, I want to eat something else than just the lousy airplane meals.”

Till, who had been mostly reading and writing during the long trip, didn’t even bother to look at his bandmate when he said with a voice of a completely exhausted dad: “We will get there, just be patient.”

“But I want to knoooooow! And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?”

Till massaged his temples and kept reading the book. “I don’t know, watch a fluffy movie or have a wank in the toilet. Or both at the same time. I don’t know, just try to come up with something, it’s not my business to entertain you.”

Everyone else besides the diva and Ollie, who had his headphones on, laughed at the comment. 

“Till, you nailed it,” Schneider said.

“You just don’t understand…” Richard muttered behind gritted teeth and started pacing around in the corridor of the plane. He passed Ollie who was napping - or acting like so, who could possibly know - with his headphones on. Paul was a bit jealous: why his own headphones had to stop working just when the plane had taken off? They would have come in use indeed.

Unexpectedly, Richard sat right next to his fellow guitarist. Paul could feel the heated eyes behind him even though he was looking out of the window, pretending he didn’t care.

“Paul, help me,” Richard begged. “Let’s do something. The others are so boring.” 

“Didn’t Till already suggest you fun activities?” Paul replied and still kept looking at the window when they passed some mountains. He felt somehow uncomfortable at the bottom of his belly - it had always been the case with Richard who surely was… something.

And that something Paul was too afraid to explore so he tried to keep the distance - not succeeding very well it seemed though.

When Richard didn’t get the attention he wanted, he put a hand on Paul’s shoulder. The other guitarist startled and was forced to face the man next to his seat. With wide puppy eyes Paul both hated and loved, Richard looked at his friend. “Pleeeease, let’s do something.”

 _Do I even have a choice?_ Paul almost said out loud, but as an act of solidarity for everyone else who were almost losing their nerves, he just nodded. “O-okay,” he managed to say before he shook himself off from the grip. “Let’s watch a movie then. You can choose. Just an absolute no to romantic comedies.”

A smile reaching from ear to ear, Richard started browsing flicks from a screen in front of them while Paul continued looking out of the window. The mountains had now passed and all he could see were clouds.

“Ha, this will be perfect!” Richard exclaimed.

Paul couldn’t help a snort escaping from his mouth when he turned to see the screen. “‘Snakes on a plane?’ Seriously? Haven’t you seen this already a million times?”

“C’mon, you said I can choose. It’s not a romantic comedy!”

 _Whatever,_ Paul thought and leaned back on his chair. _At least when it’s not “The Notebook” everything should be fine._

When the opening credits started to roll, Paul’s eyes already started to feel heavy as lead. He let them close, maybe Richard couldn’t even notice anything.

Before Paul dozed off, he was sure he felt a head resting on his shoulder and a hand gently caressing his thigh. A warm body was huddling towards his tighter and Paul relaxed humming contently. 

“Paul?” a voice from far away, resembling someone so familiar, asked. “Are you sleeping?”

Paul didn’t remember whether he replied anything or not - maybe this was just a dream.

And hell, one of the most pleasant ones in a while.

~***~

Everyone greeted them with such generosity in the filming location that Paul was already upset they had to act being the big fat white conquers from Europe - but the locals luckily understood the video was supposed to give a sarcastic message.

When they were trying their colonialist costumes, Paul snorted when he turned around and looked at himself from a mirror. “This is ridiculous,” he said and touched the red hat that was like a cherry on top of his already silly outfit. They had put a lot of effort into the costumes to get an authentic look. Flake’s costume with real silk had cost them a fortune, but as they always wanted to perfect the details, they had happily paid for it. “I don’t know this just feels so… wrong. I’m not like this, I don’t want to exploit someone else’s culture.” Never in his lifetime, Paul would have imagined he’d end up dressing up as a colonialist but here they were. 

Richard on the other hand was enjoying himself fully - he was especially looking forward to a scene where he could shoot Flake’s feet. “C’mon, it shouldn’t be taken that seriously. It’s just art, we are giving a message to the people how insane history has been.”

Still looking at himself from the mirror with a frowning face, Paul said: “Yeah, but… this is something I’d like leave in the past. How our ancestors could have been so dumb they thought they were some kind of ‘superior race’.” He shook his head. “Impossible… I want to be as far as I could from that kind of people.”

Richard patted his friend on the shoulder and let the hand stay there. Other guys of the band had been much quicker and were now taking photos when the two guitarists were still fitting their outfits - or lingering the rare moment together on purpose. “The people here have a great sense of humor and they understand it’s only for the sake of art. Of course, no one thinks we are trying to be ‘a superior race’. Instead, we are joking about those idiotic people.”

“I guess so,” Paul admitted, still not fully convinced though. “But it still doesn’t wipe away the fact this makes me uncomfortable as hell.”

Unexpectedly, Richard wrapped his arm around his fellow guitarist’s waist and pressed the small body tighter towards himself. Paul felt a hot rush on his cheeks - it must be weather, he reasoned while his heart pounded as he had just run a marathon.

Richard let his head rest on Paul’s shoulder while they both stared at each other’s eyes from the mirror. Paul’s mouth was open though he couldn’t find any words to say.

 _What are we… doing ?_ It was only then when Paul realized it was just the two of them.

Richard smiled - that _damned_ adorable smile that always managed to make Paul’s stomach do flips. “Besides, not gonna lie that you look pretty fucking gorgeous in that outfit, no matter how silly it is,” Richard said and cleared his throat. He lowered his voice and almost like a whisper, added: “Well, I wouldn’t have expected anything else as you are always gorgeous, no matter what.”

When Richard saw from the mirror how Paul’s already shocked eyes widened even more, he realized how wrong that must have sounded - like a nasty toad would have escaped from his mouth and was now impossible to take back anymore. “I… I mean,” Richard mumbled and backed up, trying his best to explain his semi-romantic words somehow.

When Paul still didn’t say anything they just looked at each other from the mirror. Richard took a step back and waved his hands. “Or, w-well, I didn’t mean it like that, just… well, shit...”

“GUYS, ARE YOU READY FOR THE FIRST SCENE? DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE RICHARD AND PAUL ARE?” Jörn, the director, shouted somewhere far away - but the two guitarists had something entirely else on their minds than filming the video.

Paul turned around and stepped forward while he muttered his response: “Well, you... don’t look so bad either.” He fixed his eyes on a small rock on the ground when he added: “That probably makes two of us then as you bastard are annoyingly gorgeous as well.” 

Just rapidly blinking his eyes Richard couldn’t respond anything, besides a muffled “what” when he realized Paul fled - there vanished his moment to clear out the situation. _Damn._

Richard followed his fellow guitarist to the set-up “village” where they were supposed to film with the locals. Everyone else was ready and had just been waiting for them to come. Richard nodded at the director apologetically.

“Okay now when everyone is finally here we can start. So, guys, here’s what we are going to do…” Jörn started to explain - just that the words went to deaf ears for the guitarists who still were heated for the weird incident in front of the mirror.

While Paul stood next to Schneider, careful to keep a good distance from Richard, the drummer couldn’t help but ask: “Where the hell were you?” Schneider glanced at his friend and realized he was trembling. “Are you ok? Did something happen?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Paul said without even blinking an eye even though there was a tempest, ready to rampage, inside him.

 _Shit, that was close_ , Paul thought and kept staring at Jörn who was so excited he just kept babbling about all the visions he had for the video _. This is why it’s wise to keep the distance. Can’t reveal anything, not when we have a job to do._

Richard, on the other hand, stared at Paul from the shadows and hoped the other man didn’t notice anything.

~***~

As the bustling day started to turn into an evening, everyone was enjoying themselves even though they were exhausted after a long flight and filming day that had been a success. They’ve had great fun but also, deep conversations about cultural differences and politics with the locals. 

Schneider and Paul were dancing around a campfire after a couple of sips from Till’s pocket flask and with the courage given by strong local beverages. 

Richard was also by the campfire with the duo, not joining the fun though: as the exhaustion and alcohol rose inside his body, the familiar wistfulness took him into his grip. Not at a very suitable moment.

Truth to be told, maybe because of the alcohol - or that was what Richard blamed for this mood - he couldn’t get his eyes out of Paul who was dancing his ass off with their drummer. 

The annoyingly short pants Richard’s fellow guitarist was wearing didn’t help at all: the thighs that were so muscular, so tight. _Pure perfection._ Hell, how badly Richard just wanted to rest his hand on those wonderful body parts as he had accidentally done in the plane earlier. Or in fact, to just rest his hand basically _anywhere_ on Paul. Jesus, how this little man had ruined him by the years, Richard thought.

The incident with the costumes came to Richard’s mind for the millionth time today and he gulped, trying to distract himself by poking the fire with a stick. He was weary from the long day, yes: and somehow, he felt lonely even though he was around his best buddies.

Richard was snapped out of his thoughts when Paul almost fell on the campfire and Schneider caught him at the last minute.

“Whoops, be careful Paulchen,” Schneider said and they both laughed while hugging each other tightly. “We don’t want your beautiful ass to burn tonight, hm?”

So close to each other, in Schneider’s grip, Paul replied: “Whatever you say, mein Freund.” A brief moment when they looked at each other in the eyes.

Could it be…? Richard didn’t even dare to think about what might happen next. A lump started to form in his throat when he thought about possible scenarios. In the end, the couple continued with the dancing, still close to each other. They looked so happy it hurt.

Pretending he hadn’t seen anything, Richard bit his lower lip, trying to inhibit the annoying pressure on his eyes. He poked at the fire still, his thoughts somewhere far away.

 _Of course_ , it was the case. It was obvious, they had tightly bonded since the early days of Feeling B. _Of course_ , Schneider had caught Paul’s eye and no wonder: he was loyal, sweet, funny, and basically _everything_ Richard wasn’t.

 _Sigh._ At the moment, Richard just hoped to retreat to a bungalow, have a long, warm shower, and distract himself. Paul was so close, yet so far. _Just let him go, Jesus, it’s not going anywhere. How stupid you are, Richard. Get a life._ But sometimes, especially when he was drunk and tired, the old feelings towards his fellow guitarist came to Richard’s mind, making it close to impossible to think about anything else. Yes, he had tried, several times: with alcohol, drugs, one-night stands… but still, Paul’s presence always made Richard’s knees embarrassingly weak.

Because the truth - that he prevented to never, ever to get into daylight - was that Richard was _in love_. In love with his colleague, his friend, his everything.

And that everything was _Paul._

By every year, Richard was sure he just got worse at hiding it - and today had not been an exception. He had almost lost it - first in the plane and then while trying their costumes.

This had to end.

Wiping his already glossy eyes, Richard stood up. “I.. I think I’ll ask from Till about our accommodation and go to sleep.” He didn’t look at the dancing couple when he retreated. “Thank you for a nice day, let’s continue... tomorrow.”

Paul stopped the dancing and his cheerful mood halted for a while. “Hey, where do you think you are going? It’s not that late yet!”

Not meeting Paul’s eyes, Richard just mumbled: “Good night. Have fun you two.”

When Richard started walking away, he heard some muffled talking between Paul and Schneider: “What happened, why is he like that? I think maybe you should go to talk to him.” 

Richard didn’t care. He just wanted a good night’s sleep to clear his messy head.

Crickets chirred on the dark pathway to the bungalows where they were supposed to sleep. No one had followed Richard and it was eerily silent except for the crickets. He thought about the cheetah that had been with them earlier during the day in the filming. What if it was still loose? What if the feline was hungry? What if the locals would avenge them and play a little prank, enjoying the arrogant Europeans running around? 

Just in case, Richard fastened his pace while he saw a dark big shadow approaching him. 

He screamed and took a fighting stance. “STAY THE HELL OUT OF--”

“Whoa, relax, it’s just me,” a familiar soothing voice said. From the shadows, a figure of Till came out with an amused look on his face. “See, it’s not a boogieman. Where are you going anyway?”

Richard crossed his arms and still shaking from the adrenaline rush, tried to act cool when he stammered: “I-I just wanted to go to… s-sleep.”

“Oh yeah right,” Till said. His smile dropped and he moved his gaze to the ground. “I was actually looking for you and Paul because there’s… something I had to tell you about the sleeping arrangements.”

Raising an eyebrow, Richard asked: “What is it? The rooms are not cleaned yet? I don’t care, I just want to have a shower and a rest.”

Till scratched his head and started babbling: “Well, I don’t have the slightest clue how this is even possible, there must have been some misunderstanding. The manager promised there were six rooms, but...”

“But what?” Richard’s voice started to have an annoyed timbre when he couldn’t get any straightforward answers. “Till, what the fuck is it?”

Till sighed and as he couldn’t avoid it forever, revealed: “Just that... there are not enough bungalows for all of us. The place is fully booked.”

Before Richard could ask any further, Till continued: “What we thought was that if… if... you and Paul could sleep in a tent for tonight. You know, it’s only one night and I thought...”

 _You gotta be fucking kidding me._ “...in a… tent?”

“Yeah, you know, you are the shortest ones and you have earlier shared a room while we have been tight, so I thought…”

“You… seriously say that… me and Paul are going to sleep in a tent?” Richard couldn’t believe his ears so he just had to keep repeating the same questions. “Because we are… short?”

“Well, if that would be okay for you it would be wonderful. I still have to ask Paul.”

“What… what are the other options?”

Till put his hands in his pockets and kicked some pebbles with his boot when he said: “Well, technically, there are not many options right now. At least the bungalows are fully booked, so someone must sleep in a tent and we kinda… already...” He looked even more awkward when he admitted: “Settled this with the… other guys.”

“You are joking, right?” Richard asked when he felt how his face was burning even though the evening was far from being hot. “This is just a prank, right?”

Till shook his head and didn’t say anything - that revealed just enough though.

Richard sneered. “Oh dear God…” Goodbye warm shower, pouting alone, being safely inside. Say hello instead to sleeping outside with your longtime crush tightly in a tent full of mosquitoes and whatever nightcrawlers. 

_Fuck_.

This was either a dream coming true or the worst nightmare possible.

The two men stayed silent for a while before Till patted his friend on the shoulder. He thought the silence meant acceptance. “You can manage, you both are big boys already. I’ll go to ask Paul.”

Richard almost fainted when Till left and couldn’t go any forward.

By the campfire, Schneider and Paul were still laughing and chatting. They entertained each other by recalling stories from their colorful past. 

“Do you remember when Flake danced in ballet shoes in Mein Teil? That was brilliant,” Schneider said with a genuine burst of laughter while he took a sip of local beer. “The man sure is a genius hidden behind the awkward shell. One day when we retire Flake should consider a career in comedy or horror. Preferably, in both.”

With wiggling his eyebrows Paul added: “But do you remember what kind of fun _Frau Schneider_ had in Mein Teil when no one was seeing? I have to admit you are very creative…”

Schneider suddenly turned timid. “Oh well, that is in the past, I don’t know what I was thinking, maybe it was more Zoki’s idea…”

To Schneider’s relief, they were interrupted. “Evening, guys,” Till said and sat by the campfire as well. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, not at all,” Schneider said and forced a tight smile on his face while Paul was holding back his laughter.

“So, about the accommodation,” Till said and looked at the weakening fire. “There was some kind of misunderstanding and the bungalows are fully booked, so...”

“Oh yeah, right, I forgot to tell you,” Schneider said with a mischievous tone Paul couldn’t comprehend. “But carry on, Till.”

“So, someone has to sleep in a tent?” Paul interrupted before anyone explained any further. This had happened before and he was happy to volunteer. “It’s ok, I can do that.”

With wide eyes, Till turned to look at the guitarist. “You… are fine with it?”

Paul stared at the campfire while now it was Schneider who was holding back laughter. “I have slept in a tent earlier, no big deal. One night goes anywhere.”

“Ah, gut, gut!” Till exclaimed and clapped his hands together before he stood up. A heavy burden had been just removed from his shoulders. “I just have to tell Richard then that you are fine with this.”

“How is Richard involved in my sleeping arrangements?” Paul asked, suspicion rising in him. “He just left and said he was tired, but I don’t know where he went.”

Till just waved his hand when he turned his back, about to leave. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just that we only have one tent, so you must share. It’s good you both agreed, I don’t know what we should have--”

“WAIT, WHAT?!” Paul exclaimed and stood up. He grabbed Till from his shoulders and turned the singer around. “You… said I have to sleep with… Richard?”

“Yes, that’s absolutely correct.”

Paul backed up. “Well, if you say we don’t have a choice…” he mumbled by himself and gulped. “I… I can do it. No big deal.”

“Perfekt, I knew I could trust you guys.” Till turned around and waved the one last time when Paul was still standing on his place, trying to comprehend all of what he had just agreed on. 

“Tschüss!” Till shouted and disappeared in the dark night as quickly as he had arrived.

Ignoring Schneider’s ridiculously happy expression, Paul sat down by the campfire. His hands were shaking slightly but he hoped the darkness hid it.

Schneider grinned, the fire lighting his boyish eyes full of excitement even more. “Why do you look so upset? It’s brilliant! A night under the stars in the heart of South Africa for you and your--”

“Shut up,” Paul said and kept staring at the campfire.

“Didn’t we just talk before this trip that you and him--” 

“I said _shut up_.”

Schneider shrugged. “You know, you can’t avoid him forever. And truth to be told, he looked kinda upset earlier. Maybe you two should finally talk properly.”

“I don’t know what is going on in his head and it’s none of my business. He’s an adult man,” Paul tried to defend himself.

“Yeah, but have you seen how he looks at you?” Schneider asked and chuckled. “I’m not an expert in these kinds of things, but I might have a feeling he’s--” 

Paul got so tired of this interrogation that he took the beer from Schneider’s hand and finished it.

“Hey!” the drummer exclaimed before Paul threw the can to the ground and left without saying anything.


	2. Just you, me, and the pale moonlight

“I don’t understand why there have to be so many different parts,” Richard muttered by himself, almost trapped in the colorful tent fabric. “I hate camping, I’ve spent way too many nights outdoors back in the days, so should be enough already at this point in my life.”

Paul, who had been politely listening to the complaints way too long, just dropped the other end of the tent they were holding and rushed towards his fellow guitarist. “Give me that.”

In Paul’s talented hands the whole tent was set within minutes while Richard just smoked and stared at the sight. He whistled. “I didn’t know you have been in boy scouts, Paulchen.” 

Glaring at Richard, Paul said: “I wasn’t. Just that back in the days we slept a lot in tents with Flake while we toured with Feeling B. It was better than staying in some shitholes of some ‘friends’ of Aljoscha.”

Desperately inhibiting the intriguing question on his tongue about what else Paul had done with Flake during the wild Feeling B days, Richard just cleared his throat. “Thanks. Without you, I would most likely have given up and stayed outside with the mosquitoes being my only company.” Speaking of them, he slapped an itching part on his cheek - he had caught another annoying insect who had almost succeeded in sucking the blood of a world-famous German metal guitarist. “I freaking _hate_ insects, why they even have to exist.”

Paul sighed and took his backpack from the ground. “Is there something besides smoking you wouldn’t hate?”

“Well, t--” Richard started to form something to defend himself while Paul already had hidden inside the tent - purposefully or not, Richard could only wonder.

Both of them were exhausted. Their tiredness was exposed in different ways though: Richard being a whiny teenager while Paul just wanted everything to get done so he could finally have the well-earned rest. He was better at hiding his annoyance than _someone_.

For a moment lingering in his confusion, Richard dumbed his cigarette and also stepped into the tent. Immediately he realized it was so small they almost had to touch each other’s backs if they wanted to sleep here.

Stopping by his place an impossible thought appeared on Richard’s mind: what if Till had done this on purpose? What if he knew…?

“Is there something wrong?” Paul asked while Richard had already stood in a weird bent position in the low tent not realizing he had perhaps just kept staring at Paul.

Snapped out of his thoughts, Richard shook his head. “N-no, why so?”

“You just look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Richard kneeled next to his luggage and pretended to be busy with searching for his sleeping bag from the endless amount of clothes and other stuff that wasn’t meant for camping. By the years, he’d gotten a lot of bantering from his bandmates about taking way too much stuff with him. The total opposite was Ollie who once only took a book and a pair of boxers for one week’s recording session to Stockholm. Everyone knew he had read the whole book but the story doesn’t tell did he ever use the boxers.

As expected, Paul was much faster than his bandmate and lied down to his thin mattress, letting out an exasperated sigh. He turned his back to Richard and pretended to get some sleep. Richard next to him still tried to find the sleeping bag, with the flashlight of his phone as his aid. 

After tons of muttered cursing, he finally found the sleeping bag and lied right next to Paul, their backs touching each other lightly.

Even though being tired after a busy day, neither of them was able to sleep. Richard kept shifting on his mattress while Paul just stayed on his place in a fetal position. The heat of the other man burnt Paul’s back and he was sure he couldn’t sleep a second if it continued being like this. _Dammit._ Tomorrow it was sure the hassle would continue, but it was probably already destined they both were going to be far from well-rested after tonight.

When Paul got enough of trying to be as far as he could in the tight space from Richard he stood up. Crouching slightly when his head almost touched the roof, he took his towel and went out.

“Where are you going?” Richard shouted but Paul didn’t answer anything. He just rushed towards the beach nearby.

But of course, Paul wasn’t allowed to go alone anywhere - in no time, he realized he had company with him.

“Richard, what are you doing?” Paul asked, his eyes fixed on the horizon instead of the jogging man who had caught him up.

“Just wanted to keep you company.”

Not even glancing at Richard, Paul asked with a nonchalant tone: “And why do you think I’d want company?”

“Just because I don’t want you to be eaten by the cheetah,” was the lousiest excuse Richard had ever come up with, but he didn’t care. “It still could be loose, y’know?”

Paul snorted but didn’t have the heart to tell the other man to go away.

In silence, the two men reached the beach finally. Without explaining any further, to Richard’s shock, Paul immediately started taking his clothes off. 

While the moonlight illuminated just perfectly Paul’s pale torso, Richard gulped and asked: “W-what are you up now?” His eyes were fixed on the wonderful thighs.

“Taking my clothes off,” was the sarcastic answer. Accidentally, Paul threw his boxers almost to Richard’s face - the other man managed to dodge just in time. Paul stopped when he realized his underwear had almost hit his crush’s face, but even though his cheeks were burning, luckily hidden in the darkness of the African night, he started walking towards the water and didn't look back.

“It might be dangerous out there!” Richard shouted standing next to a pile of Paul’s clothing. He looked around and still scared of the cheetah and other hungry creatures of the night, he tried to call his friend: “What a stupid idea, come back in this second!” 

Paul turned around and first time during this tent episode, flashed that trademark smirk of his - this wasn’t promising any good. “Catch me if you can, then.” With a splash, he dived and vanished into the black sea.

For a while, Richard shivered while he couldn’t see Paul anymore, but in no time a familiar head popped up. “It’s not _that_ cold! Come!” Paul shouted from the distance while Richard stood by the shore, his arms crossed. He looked like a grumpy parent whose kid had been in the water for three hours already while the rest of the family just wanted to go home.

“I don’t know, what if someone sees us or something… and there could be sharks there.”

“No sharks in my sight,” Paul said and started swimming further.

Scenarios from those horror movies where a poor soul went swimming alone, disappeared and was found drown flashed in Richard’s mind. He had to make a decision soon - what if Paul just kept swimming and refused to come back?

What was the purpose of this? To annoy Richard, to make him worried? But why on earth?

With a shrug and muttered _what the heck,_ Richard stripped quickly and went to the water as well. He screamed immediately when the coldness hit his skin. His Baywatch skills weren’t as efficient as he’d thought them to be: in his mind, he had visualized to carry his poor little Paul from the water and be declared as the hero of the day. Instead, Richard now stood there only in his boxers, water barely reaching his ankles. 

“Can you just come back!” he still tried to change the other man’s mind. 

“Not before you promise to stop complaining and come with me here!” the voice replied, going further and further away, laughter echoing in the air.

Swearing in silence and not trying to think about the jellyfish, sharks, and other sea creatures, Richard gave up and swam towards his fellow guitarist. At the same time, he wondered how much he was willing to do only because of Paul. If it had been Till he’d probably just have said _screw you_ and went to sleep in the singer’s bed as revenge.

Richard reached Paul eventually and saw that the other man had the smuggest grin of the universe on his face.

“See, it wasn’t that bad?” Paul asked and splashed some water to Richard’s face. “Some refreshments for the day! If we have to stay outdoors, let’s make the best out of it then.” Despite being grumpy while setting the tent with the pain in the ass fellow guitarist, now Paul was in a playful mood. The cool water had washed away all of the earlier tiredness.

Richard wiped his face: he was frowning so much Paul couldn’t help but laugh. 

“C’mon, can we just go back,” Richard said. “I’m seriously freezing, it’s not funny. I don’t want to be sick tomorrow when we still have to film.”

Ignoring the other man’s plea, Paul dived under the water and squeezed Richard’s leg. 

“WHAT THE—-” 

When Paul came up to the surface, he just started swimming as fast as he could to the shore. Richard followed him and soon, they both were on the soft sand of the beach, panting heavily.

“Boy, wasn’t that fun,” Paul said and wrapped a towel around his naked body. “Reminds me of my childhood. I miss those carefree times.”

“Your favorite childhood memories consist of teasing other kids and go swimming naked in the middle of the night?” Richard asked in disbelief and shook his head. The mentioning of childhood gave back memories that were far from carefree. “Your idea of fun differs from mine in that case.”

Paul took a step closer and with a half-smile asked: “C’mon, why have you been so grumpy the whole day?”

“I’m not grumpy,” Richard replied and realized immediately how his tone revealed the opposite. “I mean--”

“Is it because the others forced you to sleep with me?” Paul blurted out before he even realized how it must have sounded before he saw Richard’s widened eyes. “Well, I mean that not sleep with me _like that_ , but you know…” _Oh, nuts._ Despite the filming being a success, there had been an awkward tension between them the whole day. Paul didn’t know whether he liked it or not - but truth to be told, he was perhaps as guilty for it as Richard as he was constantly saying something stupid.

It was like an endless flood of Freudian slips.

Richard shook his head, ignoring the hidden meaning in Paul’s statement. “No, it’s not that.” He looked at the dark sky, his eyes fixed on the stars. _If you could only know what is in my mind..._

As Paul didn’t dare to ask any further he put his clothes back on, threw Richard the towel, and lied on his back on the sand. Richard quickly ran the towel through his wet body and sat down next to his bandmate. Both of them kept staring at the stars in silence. 

“These kinds of nights outside remind me of my childhood as well,” Richard said, breaking the stillness of the night, “but unlike you, I can’t say they are happy or carefree memories.” He took a handful of sand into his palm and continued: “Truth to be told, I’m happy those uncertain times are behind.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to trigger any bad memories. I didn’t realize this reminded you of your childhood in a bad way,” Paul replied. “Just that… I wanted some fresh air after the busy day.”

“It’s ok, you didn’t trigger anything,” Richard assured. “Just that occasionally some memories that are not so nice come back.” He sighed. “Now when I look back it was far from normal constantly escape from home, getting drunk, and sleeping either on benches or with drug gangs when I was 13.”

Paul sat down and took Richard’s hand when he said: “I truly am sorry for the things you had to experience so young. I hope your life is way better now. You deserve it.”

Almost startling because of the sudden touch, Richard just gulped and said: “Yeah, it’s… it’s okay now. I have almost everything I need. Life is good, yeah.”

Raising an eyebrow, Paul asked: “‘Almost?’ What are you missing then, if I can ask?”

“Well, I can’t hide the fact it’s not nice to be a single, but what can you do,” Richard said and tried to act nonchalant even though his eyes were burning a bit. “By this age, I’m quite convinced I wasn’t meant to be in a relationship.” At this point, Paul squeezed the hand tighter and Richard was sure the last thing he wanted to do was to let go of it. “But I’d lie if I said I wanted to stay forever like this. To be honest, I’m quite tired of being alone. And afraid I’d stay like this ‘til the rest of my days.

But if it’s going to be my destiny, what can I do then?”

To Richard’s secret disappointment Paul lied back down to the sand but didn’t say anything - he let the words sink in.

Maybe it was the fault of the alcohol or something that their discussion had gone this deep this fast. Paul hadn’t realized earlier how Richard - outside being a successful and active person - was, in reality, that lonely and miserable. 

Paul just wanted to hug the other man as tightly as he could, tell him everything was going to be fine - but maybe it still was inappropriate. 

While lost in his thoughts, Richard still had something in his mind. “I just… just wanted to say that…” Richard stammered and cleared his throat. “That… I’m happy for you and… and Schneider. You two truly belong together.”

With wide eyes, Paul came up sitting to have a better look at the other man. He stared at Richard who kept playing with the sand in his hands and didn’t meet Paul’s eyes. 

“E-excuse me?”

Richard sighed and turned to look at Paul. “I’m happy for you and Schneider and I wish all the best for you.”

“I… I don’t understand what you mean exactly…” Paul had a vague feeling of what this might have been about but refused to believe it. “What has Schneider to do… to do with me?” 

Richard moved his gaze back to his hands and continued: “I get it. He’s funny, nice, and loyal. Overall, a cool guy and have to admit he doesn’t look so bad either. I wish only good things for you and h--”

Paul raised his hand. “Whoa, whoa, slow down there.” He then looked at Richard’s side profile, the lines of it beautifully illuminated by the pale moonlight. “You think that I… I have the hots for… _Schneider_?”

Just barely, Richard nodded and bit his lower lip. “I.. well, I don’t know why I even said this, but I’m just glad to see you have found each other.” He knew perfectly well how untrue the words were, but of course, he couldn’t reveal too much - he wanted his and Paul’s friendship last and flourish, not to be destroyed by his stupid crush.

It got eerily silent. They were just the two of us on the beach when a vague voice started to come out of Paul - it was getting louder and louder. _What on earth?_ At first, Richard thought the other man was crying.

“Look, I’m s--” But when Richard looked closer, he realized what was going on: Paul was laughing. Laughing so much tears were pouring from his eyes; so much he had to hold his stomach.

Richard’s eyes narrowed. He almost asked what was so funny, but as he had made enough a fool of himself today, he stood up and announced: “Gute Nacht. And sorry, I won’t be bothering you anymore.”

But he was stopped by a grip on his leg. “Don’t… don’t go,” Paul barely managed to say. “Please, don’t go away.” He wiped tears from his eyes and stood up as well. “Sorry, I… I didn’t mean to laugh at you. You have misunderstood everything.”

Richard crossed his arms and tilted his head - _explanations, please._

Paul sniffled and ran a hand through his hair - he realized how he probably had upset Richard somehow - but why? “Schneider is a good friend and all, but I’m not interested in him in that… way.”

Blinking his eyes, Richard asked: “R-really?” A flush of relief stormed inside him - he almost wanted to jump around and yell in happiness at the same time.

But instead, when Paul nodded Richard moved his timid eyes to the ground, not sure what to say next. 

“S-sorry, I just didn’t mean it to sound like that,” Richard said. “I… well I thought…”

“You thought what?”

Richard just waved his hands in front of him. “Forget it, maybe I’ll go to sleep finally and stop bothering you.”

“Hey, please, don’t go. It’s not that late yet and it’s a nice evening.” Paul begged and took Richard’s arm. “Please, stay with me here.”

To those puppy eyes, Richard couldn’t say no - _never._ Acting nonchalant, he sat back down to the sand and Paul did the same.

Trying to forget the earlier mess, they chatted for a while about lighter topics: about the video, new tour, and music in general.

Out of a sudden, Paul blurted out: “Well, coming back to our former topic, I’d say there’s someone who has caught my eye, yes. For a long time, to be honest.”

“O… kay,” Richard said while he felt once again funny at the bottom of his belly. “Lucky her, then.” If it wasn’t Schneider, maybe Paul had met a nice girl. He was a charming man after all and not afraid to flirt.

“Who said it was _‘her’_ ,” Paul said mysteriously.

This was going to the direction Richard wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not. While being curious, he still didn’t dare to ask anything further. He just kept staring at the sea and its gentle waves.

_So, it is a guy who Paul likes. But if not Schneider, then, who?_

_Maybe… no, it can’t be. Don’t be a fool, Richard._

Paul stood up, smirked, and looked down at Richard. “If you want to know more, you must come to swim with me again.”

Snorting, Richard raised his head and looked at his fellow guitarist. “Again? You must be mad. And it’s not my business who you are in love with. I don’t care.”

For a second, Paul looked thoughtful. Then, he crouched and right next to Richard’s ear, whispered: “Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem to care. A lot.” 

When Richard didn’t answer anything, Paul once again threw his clothes off and ran back to the sea like some grotesque mermaid. Richard tried his best not to stare at that bare, wonderful ass that had haunted his dreams way too long.

“Richard, stop being a chicken and come here! I promise to tell you whatever you want!” Paul shouted. “Or did you lose your interest already?”

Even though how much he hated to get wet again, Richard didn’t have to be asked twice - curiosity had won him over. This time, he just threw all of his clothes away - the still moist boxers included - and holding his breath, ran to the water, barely looking at it.

Paul was clapping and smiled - this time genuinely, not with that smug expression he’d had earlier. “That’s my boy.”

“Well, you promised me something, so I’m all eyes and ears now,” Richard said and swam towards his fellow guitarist. He couldn’t help but mirror Paul’s smile as well when he was in front of him. “Happy now?”

Dramatically, Paul placed his hand on his chest under the water. “Ask me what you want and I’ll answer either yes or no.” Even though how much he enjoyed bantering, he was always a man of his word.

“Okay then,” Richard stated and pondered for a second before he asked his first question: “Do I know him?”

“Yes.”

“Is he nice?”

“Occasionally, yes.”

“Does he have a great ass?”

At this question, Paul hesitated for a while, but eventually answered with a voice barely audible: “Yes.”

“Is it Till?”

“Hell, no,” Paul replied and laughed, at the same time splashing a bit of water to Richard’s face. “Try harder.”

“What is his eye color?”

Paul snorted. “That’s not a ‘yes or no’ question.”

“Is it Flake?”

“Nope.”

“Ollie?”

Paul mouthed an “uh uh” and shook his head.

After several tries, Richard didn’t know anymore how to draw out who had caught Paul’s eye. “You won. I have no idea.”

With an eyeroll, Paul said: “Come on, no one comes to your mind? Only persons you know on this earth are Till, Flake, and Ollie?”

“Well, how could I know all the people you hang around with?”

“Maybe the answer is closer than you think,” Paul replied vaguely and passing Richard, started swimming towards the shore. “I’ll go, it’s getting cold.”

Richard turned and shouted in desperation: “Hey, I still didn’t get my answer!”

“You just have to keep trying harder! Besides, I already gave you a hint.”

While Richard just stared at the swimming figure he tried to ponder what that must have meant. _A hint? Something about the guy being close, but what the hell was that supposed to mean?_

Maybe they both were going crazy from the hot and humid air of South Africa - that’s what Richard tried to reason. Or maybe he knew the answer deep down in his heart but just refused to admit it.

Back on the beach, they both shivered. Even the day had been warm, the night was surprisingly chilly. As Richard hadn’t taken anything to dry him off Paul took him inside his huge towel, their cold sides touching each other.

“We will get warmer faster like this,” Paul said like it would have been a completely normal thing for them to be this close - and naked.

“Paul, please I ask the one last time: who is it?” Richard still tried.

Paul just flicked his tongue, but otherwise seemed to ignore the question. “Isn’t it a nice night? I think I have to come here later for a holiday with someone nice, it’s such a pretty place.”

“Yeah, it sure is,” Richard grunted and shivered, not from cold but from the proximity they had. “So beautiful I think I finally have to go.”

But when he tried to leave, he was unable to do so: Paul wrapped his arm around Richard’s waist and locked him there.

With a husky voice, Paul said: “I told you: ‘maybe the answer is closer than you think’. Still, no one comes to your mind?”

Richard shook his head. “Sorry, but maybe I’m dumb but I just… just don’t get it.”

Not giving any prior warning, Paul placed a hand on Richard’s cheek and noticed how the other man startled. “Maybe it’s finally the time,” he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else.

“W-what do you m--” Richard stuttered. _It can’t be..._

With a sudden movement, neither of them even realizing it, their lips were sealed together. The towel dropped to the ground, but neither of them cared: it was far from cold anymore. Richard gasped in surprise and felt like he was melting for the intimate touch. This had happened in his dreams a million times but now in reality? Impossible.

 _How? When? Why? WHAT?_ All questions swirled in Richard’s head while he at the same time tried to get the most of this rare moment - tasting and feeling Paul’s familiar scent that now in this new position felt so tempting and exotic. Richard couldn’t believe it was true, maybe Paul was still just teasing and they would laugh at him with Schneider tomorrow. Maybe there was something fishy behind this all.

But hell, what Richard couldn’t deny was that he _desperately_ wanted more of this when he had gotten the first taste in his mouth and soul.

Paul withdrew and languidly, opened his eyes. “It’s you, Richard. Has always been.”

Neither of them said anything: Paul was relieved he finally managed to speak his mind. _Let it sink in, we’ll deal this later._ Paul flashed the last timid smile for Richard before he gathered his clothes and towel from the ground. 

“Good night,” he said and started walking towards their tent, too scared to look back. He was embarrassed, but he didn’t care anymore: too many denied feelings, too many sleepless nights, and awkward encounters. Too many feelings he had tried to hide for years, desperately storming to the surface right now in the middle of the night. 

At least, it was done. That was all that mattered to Paul now. He had to deal with the consequences later.

When Paul was gone, Richard was sure he’d faint soon so he sat down on the sand and tried to gather the last remainings of himself. With breathing techniques he had mastered during all the years with panic attacks and anxiety, he managed to slow his rapidly pounding heart down and kept looking at the sky, the stillness of it soothing his frantic nerves. At the same time, he was wondering what on earth had just happened. Of course, he knew the act that had occurred only minutes ago: Paul had kissed him and kinda… confessed his love. Or that was how Richard understood this.

Richard bit his bottom lip and kept looking at the stars: in this vast universe their stupid, awkward love was nothing, but in his silly little life, the fragile emotions were _everything._

Being cold and tired enough, Richard decided he had to gather his courage and go back - he knew he had to say _something_ to Paul, no matter what. 

When he reached the tent, Paul was already asleep: or at least it looked like so as the tiny man had buried himself in the sleeping bag and breathed in a steady rhythm. The sight was so cute Richard could stare at it for eternity. 

“Paul?” he whispered, but with no answer. The other man seemed to be fast asleep, so Richard didn’t want to bother him too much.

When Richard lied down on his mattress he started babbling quietly by himself: “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to say. I was too confused, it just came so out of a sudden and I wasn’t sure were you joking or something, but…”

Richard turned to his side and gently, entwined his arm around Paul. Maybe it was only in his imagination, but he was sure Paul sighed contently and pressed himself closer to his body. “I promise, you are not alone in this,” Richard whispered and placed a tiny peck on Paul’s temple.

“Good night, Liebling. I love you too.”

Richard lingered the moment for a while and stroked Paul’s cheek before he turned around and finally tried to get some sleep.

~***~

“Good morning, sunshine!” Schneider exclaimed purposefully way too cheerfully. They had settled yesterday that in the morning they’d have breakfast and a meeting about today’s schedule by the campfire in the so-called village. Paul had been there a while alone but now his peace was interrupted by their drummer.

“Well, hello to you too,” Paul said and sipped his coffee - it felt heavenly refreshing after the sleepless night. For an enthusiast like him, the excellent quality local coffee was such a nice treat. The sun was getting up, awakening the vivid nature and its inhabitants, ready to witness another warm day in the heart of South Africa. The only thing that darkened Paul’s mood was the fact he hadn’t slept a second last night - and he knew perfectly well the reason, why. 

Schneider took a cup of coffee and sat next to Paul. “How was your night?”

“Well, not that bad even though I didn’t sleep,” Paul said. “I could say I was kinda busy with something else.”

Not able to hide his grinning, Schneider pointed at his friend and exclaimed: “Hah! I knew it would work.”

Paul put the cup of coffee to his lap and looking at the drummer, raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Schneider waved his hand. “Oh, just that one little detail we forget to tell you.” At this point, he had difficulties to hold his laughter - he was almost cracking up. “We… we settled this tent date for you and Richard. Of course, you could have slept on the floor of my room or something, but you didn’t resist. It went just as planned!” Clearing his throat, he took a sip of coffee and chirped: “Did you have a nice time with him?”

“Wait, WHAT!?” Paul yelled and almost dropped his cup. “Y-you mean that…?”

Schneider nodded before Till, Richard, and Ollie arrived as well. Flake had woken up early and had gone to one of his walks, so it was only five of them. Schneider stood up and went to chat with the guys, leaving the confused Paul trying to comprehend what he had just heard. 

Paul blinked his eyes and just stared at the campfire, not believing they had been tricked. Till gave him a meaningful look, nodded, and grinned as well - so _yup_ , it was probably true. Everyone had fooled them completely. _Shit._ Had someone told to Richard? Was he mad? At least he looked pretty tired when Paul quickly glanced at him. Maybe there was even something in the drinks last night that had made him so emotional.

If something, Paul had learned by the years that nothing with this group of madmen would surprise him anymore.

With trembling hands, Paul trailed the cup back to his lips and enjoyed the bitter warm liquid that managed to wake him up. Truth to be told, it hadn’t been _that_ bad to swim naked with Richard last night and sleep tightly next to him in the tent, so Paul let it be. He’d revenge Schneider and Till later somehow - maybe on the upcoming tour, they’d book the most expensive suite with Richard in Paris and make Till and Schneider pay for it. The idea sounded already awesome.

After chatting with his bandmates enough Richard took a cup of coffee and sandwich and sat down by the campfire as well to the other side of Paul though. His eyes were fixed on the fire and he looked like he was lost in his thoughts.

When the other man seemed like he wasn’t going to approach him, Paul couldn’t help but sit next to his fellow guitarist. “Hey. Did you sleep well?”

“Well, let’s say I at least slept somehow. I was… a bit distracted, to be honest,” Richard said. “And it was hot as hell, but I didn’t dare to open the door because of the insects.” He didn’t mention anything about the naked swimming, them being close or about the _freaking_ kiss. It had haunted his dreams though, but of course, he didn’t say anything out loud.

“Let’s hope the badly slept night isn’t going to ruin your whole day though,” Paul said and placed a hand to Richard’s thigh when he thought no one was seeing. “I have to admit I didn’t sleep so well either, but at least I enjoyed myself. Hopefully, you did also.” 

Richard forced himself to look at Paul who smiled at him with bright eyes. They looked at each other for a while, so many unanswered questions in their heads - something was going on between them, they both could tell. Something had happened tonight, maybe changing their relationship status. If only...

“Guys, can you come here? I have to ask something about today’s schedule!” Jörn shouted. For their disappointment, Richard and Paul had to break their eye contact.

Paul stood up and squeezed Richard’s shoulder reassuringly. “We’ll talk later, ok?”

Richard nodded. “Sure.” Then, he took a mouthful of the sandwich as he tried to hurry up with the breakfast if Jörn wanted to talk to them now. They had work to do and head back home tonight, so there was no time to waste.

Before Paul left, he bent down and whispered: “Just one thing I want you to know: I wasn’t asleep when you arrived at the tent.”

When Richard coughed, almost choking to his sandwich, Paul continued with a lighthearted chuckle: “It’s ok. I’m just glad to hear I’m not alone. See you later.”

He placed a tiny kiss on Richard’s temple, patted his shoulder, and went to talk to Jörn like nothing had happened.

Richard couldn’t help a stupid grin forming on his face - maybe he wasn’t a lost cause after all; maybe he and Paul could be something. There had been an awkward, yet promising start last night. And Paul genuinely seemed happy, so maybe Richard hadn’t completely failed this. The intriguing thought of having the next moment with only the two of them made butterflies dance in Richard’s stomach. He almost wanted to jump and scream, but instead, tried to maintain his cool: though the grin was tattooed on his face for the rest of the day.

The world around Richard seemed much brighter than it had been yesterday: there was _something_ worth waiting for.

Out of nowhere Till came next to him and flashed an enigmatic smile. “Well, that looked like our idea was a success.” He sat down and placed his hand on Richard’s shoulder. “Thank us when it’s your wedding day.”

Richard snorted for the goofy comments, but didn’t ask any further about ‘our idea’ or ‘success’. There was only one thing on this planet that mattered to him now.

~***~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, folks! Hopefully you enjoyed this silly little ride. <3 I had good time while writing this!


End file.
